To help educate The New Age Moms and Dads –
The knowledge of Mr. Monthly
Ever growing gorgeous daughters.
The below link is an awesome attempt at one of the most difficult phase or beautiful times in the lives of our daughters and her families.
Please watch it and pass it on.
In Indian context this “Occasion” needs special education, for both the parents. Mums have known to scar the child for the rest of her life and the less talked about the dads 🙂 the better.
Assuming mums having gone through this phase already as a child will have a plan in place how to gently and beautifully welcome their daughters onto this phase and journey of her life.
I will help the dads first, how to be prepared for this new lifelong friend in their precious life.
First and foremost-don’t worry! You are not going to break her, and chances are, unless you are totally devoid of sensitivity, you will not scar her emotionally. The fact that you are taking the time and effort to search out information on the subject is proof in itself that you are a good dad, willing to undergo some of the uncomfortable situations that can come when dealing with the female psyche, or worse, some of the disgusting aspects of dealing with the female body. I promise I will try to be as gentle as possible, but some subjects simply can’t be avoided. The best thing you can do for your daughter is to be confident in yourself. Don’t think because you are a man you have to concede to a woman when it comes to issues such as this. Armed with a little information, you can be the parent that she feels comfortable confiding in.
ANATOMY OF THE 0-9 YEAR OLD
When going to the bathroom, anything that comes from the back can wreak havoc on anything in the front. This means you should take care in wiping to avoid interaction, and as she gets older you should teach her to do the same. Tell her why it is important to wipe the back from the back, and the front from the front and she will be far more likely to understand. You don’t have to use the words “urinary tract infection,” but you get the idea…
Usually beginning around the age of four, your daughter may approach you, open her vagina ( as wide as possible), and inform you that it is stinging, or some other condition. Chances are, she has been potty trained for quite some time, and you are not so comfortable with an up close viewing as you used to be. Try not to do anything to discourage her from feeling comfortable about coming to you with this sort of information. You want to be able to keep an eye on things, and you want her to be able to talk to you about anything. I can’t give you any advice on how to handle it in front of a room full of people, but if it’s appropriate for her to broach the subject, you should allow her to do so. Take a look, and unless things are totally out of whack, tell her it is probably just because all of the soap didn’t get rinsed off. She is probably just looking for assurance that there’s nothing really wrong, but if it seems to be bothering her, a clean, facecloth with cool water and maybe a little Vaseline- if it’s really red- should do the trick. She will suddenly become modest around the age of nine or ten, but the groundwork will have been laid, and you can rest easy that your daughter will let you know if there are any areas of concern.
There is no exact science to determining when she is going to get her period for the first time, but chances are she will get it around the same age her mother was when she got her first period. Most girls begin to menstruate when they are twelve or thirteen, but some girls get their periods as young as ten years old. The best idea is to buy a box of pads (tampons come into play roughly a year later, and there is no advice that you could give her on tampons any better than the instructions that come in every box) and let her know they are there if she needs them, and then leave it at that. In the best of all possible circumstances, the two of you will never have to talk about her period again after you have given her these facts:
1. The first few months of menstruation are unpredictable. She may get some bleeding one month for a few days, and then who knows when it will come again. This can be very scary to think about if you are a young girl, because every school has the one unlucky kid who got her period in the middle of a crowd for all to see. Tell your daughter if she pays attention she is sure to know that there is something going on long before it gets to the point of going through her clothes. I am a grown woman who has run into situations, and believe me; a pair of underwear and blue jeans can take a good amount before anyone else is the wiser. Due to the logistics, it is likely she will be going to the bathroom when she begins her menstruation, and even if she finds herself without a pad handy toilet paper can do wonders. Just be sure to tell her to wrap the toilet paper around the crotch of her panties, because without any adhesive it has a tendency to drop right down a pant leg.
2. There can be some pretty scary-looking stuff mixed in there. Blood clots are common, and they can be alarmingly big-up to the size of a quarter. They can be extremely dark and solid, too. I didn’t really want to give you the visual, but I didn’t want you rushing your kid to the hospital unnecessarily.
3. To dispose of pads, roll them up with the glue facing outward, and then wrap that up in toilet paper. Demonstrate with an unused one. This technique benefits everyone, including the septic system. Some girls do not want anyone to see the unsightliness, and will go to great lengths to avoid the embarrassment, even hiding them in a drawer, etc.
4. An unsuspecting dad who happens to get a sunny-side up view of his daughter’s dirty underwear might have cause to wonder about her hygiene. It is typical for teenage girls to have a heavy discharge, which will decrease as she ages. Most girls spend their teenage years thinking they are abnormal, only to have a discussion with a best friend one day, and realize that she is just like everybody else. Discharge should not have a strong odor, or a greenish tint, anything else is par for the course.
5. You need not go into the whole, “Now you are a woman,” discussion, but she may ask you why she is getting her period, so I am going to explain it to you in grownup terms and you can translate. If she were to become pregnant, the embryo would embed itself inside her uterus, snugly within this blood. Every month, in the absence of an embedded embryo, the uterus sheds this blood in order to clean itself and replenish the supply. The period is the ultimate douche, and it is unnecessary and even unhealthy for a woman to douche after she has had her period. She may feel dirty, but in reality she couldn’t be any cleaner!
There you go-everything that you need to know (and maybe some that you don’t) about dealing with your daughter’s period.
Okay now Mums turn 🙂
I wonder how many of us are aware of the fact that our periodic cycle is connected with the wondrous Moon ?
In ancient times Women would bleed with the Moon
The moon has always been the primary symbol for female energy; its cycle around the earth takes approximately twenty-nine days, the same amount of time as the average woman’s menstrual cycle. It is often felt that as the pull of the moon affects the waters of the world, so does its motion affect the body of woman.
Women’s blood and hormonal cycle follows the ebb and flow of the moon; from new moon to full moon, estrogen increases leading to ovulation, or maximum fertility, at full moon. From full moon to new moon, the waning half of the cycle, progesterone predominates. Traditionally, women used to start bleeding right before the new moon, in the dark of the moon.
In modern times, women begin their menstruation during different phases of the moon. Their bodies are out of sync with the moon and their spirits have forgotten the meaning of Grandmother Moon. One way to get back in harmony with the moon is by performing ceremonies and rituals at different times during the moon cycle and also by honoring the time of menstruation.
When a woman begins her monthly bleeding, she has a very special vibration. The blood flow is cleansing as the old uterine lining is sloughed off, one monthly reproductive cycle is ended. At menstruation, women have the chance to rid themselves of all old thoughts, habits, desires, and be receptive to new visions and inspirations for the next cycle. This is the dark moon phase.
If a woman continues her normal routine at menstruation, then she loses a uniquely female opportunity for introspection. She also finds she gets more tired, irritable, and upset because her physical rhythm has slowed down. She needs rest, more time for meditation, and less time doing housework, cooking, working in the outside world, and taking care of children.
In many Native American tribes and other tribal cultures, there is a separate moon lodge to which all women go. Since most women menstruated at the same time (have you noticed women who live together bleed together) during the dark of the moon, the grandmothers and fathers took care of the children. Food was left outside the lodge several times a day. Women during menstruation were/are considered to hold a certain power and not allowed to mingle with the rest of the tribe. Many tribes have taboos against these women, believing that their power would interfere with the hunt or take away the power of the medicine bundles.
This is also why women are not allowed in sweat lodges and must stand outside the circles in other ceremonies when they are in their moon time. We know now that women were also segregated because of fear of the immense power which enabled them to bleed each month and never die -the greatest of all the Mysteries- while a male warrior might succumb quickly after losing so much. – Women’s Medicine Ways’ Cross-cultural rites of passage Marcia Starck
Visit The Women’s Moon Hut, a place for women on their moontime to come for rest, reflection, and sisterhood.
Menstration.com You have the power to feel good about yourself and your body. Information, products, and analternative viewpoint about menstruation so that you can feel great about being a woman every day of the month!
There is a need to recognize The Female Energy Cycle
Just as the moon waxes and wanes throughout the month so do you. You experience different moods, desires and aspects of yourself (and being female) depending upon where you are in your menstrual cycle.You are influenced emotionally, mentally and spiritually by an invisible energy system of personalities. This invisible energy system is called the Female Energy Cycle. The Female Energy Cycle contains a pattern or blueprint of feminine behavior. And just like the lunar cycle there is a distinct order, system, ebb and flow to the way these feminine archetypes appear within the Female Energy Cycle.
Women, just like human beings in general, are capable of expressing many different facets of their personalities. We are not just one role or another, even though in the past we have been strongly encouraged to limit ourselves to the roles of Wife and Mother (just as men have been equally constrained in their roles as provider, macho man etc.).
We are limitless. In truth we are Wife and we are Mother. We are Lover, Daughter, Warrior, Teacher, Sister, Healer, each one at a time and in essence all of these all the time to lesser and greater degrees. We choose which personality to express at any time and we all have the potential to develop and express different Goddesses or archetypes at different times in our lives.
Generally, most of us resonate more strongly with a particular group of archetypes than another.
Some Goddesses are very strong within our psyche or our culture and others are not. We also change our preferences for which archetype we express at any time. For example, the change from Wife to Mother. Women also change their personalities or behavior monthly; with and through the menstrual cycle. The menstrual cycle offers women the unique ability to try out at least four different, primary archetypes in their lives, if not on an external level than at the very least to be expressed and experienced within.
These four archetypes of the Female Energy Cycle are:
They simulate the moons journey (or the lunar cycle), and have within them recognizable and particular behavioral traits. Each month a woman will experience changes in the way she perceives herself and her world in accordance to where she is in her menstrual cycle and which archetype is expressing itself through her life.
On another note:
My Favorite lady Deanna L’am
has written this awesome book titled:
Becoming peers – Mentoring Girls Into Womanhood
Where she helps women & girls to love themselves unconditionally. She empowers women & Moms to:
– Move from self-judgment to self-nurturance
– Model self-acceptance & high self-esteem to their daughters
– Dissolve PMS symptoms, and draw strength from their cycle, rather than be at its mercy
– Model self-care, and pain-free cycles to their daughters
– Become empowering role models for today’s girls!
Here is what she has to say:
All of us have been girls once, and we have mostly been fed a diet of negativity about menstruation, from a very young age (regardless of our culture).
As a result most adult women loath their period, referring to it as “bother,” “nuisance,” or “the curse.”
Additionally, the girl coming-of-age inside each woman, who may have never been welcomed into womanhood, is still left hanging, often embarrassed or ashamed, unable to blossom and add her unique qualities to the woman you became.
In recognizing her plight, I coined the term ‘Inner Maiden’ in 1995, to describe the last unseen part within every woman, who holds the key to her wholeness.
Over the years I have honed tools and jewels to reverse “the curse” and have been deeply passionate about teaching them to women and girls everywhere!
Whether you experience No PMS symptoms, or agonizingly painful ones, whether you are mildly irritable, or enraged and depressed monthly, whether you have a daughter or not – you will discover practical tools to:
- Discard any cultural negativity about menstruation still wedged in your body
- Reclaim your ‘Inner Maiden’ as the last missing piece of your womanhood’s jigsaw puzzle
- Dissolve PMS symptoms
- Welcome your daughter into womanhood with comfort and ease
- Become empowering role model for today’s girls!
If possible please try to get the book .
Also another very important article by Laura Wershler
links up the deficiency of Vitamin D and the early onset of Mr. Monthly !
Time to make sure that our girls are really up and about and out there in the sun to soak up all of MR. D ! Another very easy and the only source of Mr. D in food are the leftover Roti’s from the previous day.
A study conducted by the University of Michigan School of Public Health suggests this may be the case. Blood vitamin D levels were measured in 242 girls between the ages of 5 and 12 in Bogota, Colombia. The girls were then followed for 30 months.
“Compared to girls in the vitamin D-sufficient group who first menstruated at the age 12.6 years, those in the vitamin D-deficient group started menstruating at11.8 years. (Epidemiologist Eduardo)Villamor says that although 10 months may seem like a small gap, the difference is momentous because at that age, a young girl’s body may undergo many changes rapidly.”
The findings are significant because of other research suggesting links between early onset of menarche, or first menstruation, before the age of 12 and serious health concerns later in life such as cardiovascular disease and breast cancer. Vitamin D deficiency is also associated with poor bone health and osteoporosis.
This study showing an association between vitamin D deficiency and early menarche raises many questions. Should mothers be asking their doctors to test their daughters vitamin D levels? How might vitamin D supplementation prevent future health concerns now associated with early menarche? What blood level for vitamin D is optimal?
Grassroots Health, a non-profit advocacy organization promoting optimal vitamin D levels for the prevention of disease and maintenance of good health, has recently launched a study on breast cancer prevention with vitamin D. The group also has an initiative called D*Actioninvolving a consortium of scientists, institutions and individuals committed to solving what they consider to be a worldwide vitamin D deficiency epidemic.
Might the girls in Colombia lead the way for vitamin D supplementation to begin at a young age to protect the bones, breast and hearts of the next generation?
Much, much more to share- should do it in my next post ? !
Ever Grateful for your visit !
Mystickally as always,